i have to be honest on a few things. for like the whole entire past month my jealousy meter has been throough the fuckin roof cause like i worked long and hard for something i didnt get and then some other nigga comes in and a week later he gets it all. i had to work hard as fuck for u to tell me like 4 times that you lovedme reluctantly and a week after knowing this nigga you just willingly say these words. i can read. "this guy is amazing <3" is the reason i gave up. cause i was fucking tired of having to compete with other niggas. first was travis, i aint even know about him till he blew ur life by turning u away, then that nigga josh, it took him standing u up to get rid of him. after that i thought i was in the clear, finally i had you all to myself, but no. then this nigga cameron came in the picture and on the first day you know him, he's "amazing". in 4 months you never told me i was amazing. so that was it, i was done. i could not do it anymore. and u say the diff. between me and him is he trusts you and knows your comin home to him. well how am i supposed to feel secure when i'm constantly reminded that i'm not ur bf or when u tell me some other nigga has plans for yall and i ask "wut u gonna do?" you tell me "idk im gonna see wut happens" i look back on it and i dont wanna say it was a waste of my time but it really was. cause as hard as i worked for u, i never really had you, and if i did have you and the trust thing was a fuckin issue, then why not reassure me rather than say shit like " this is pointless" or "what r u gonna do about it" wtf is that forreal? its bullshit. and i cant hold any of this any longer. i gotta let it go. so here it is, i said it. u wanna discuss it , we can later

Call Me

Call me a sinner, call me a saint, tell me its over, I'll still love you the same, call me your favorite,call me the worst, tell me its over , I don't want you to hurt, its all that I can say, so I'll be on my way ♥

Momolu Vs Swaggerton

Mo~they say im kinda ugly, but mojo is so handsome...damn son, time to 'dunk' on your bitch, no AND 1...

Swaggerton~nigga just remember this is swaggertons world so any woman u grabbin on is swaggertons girl,and bitches may say that im too much,but swagger always pullin through when it be in da clutch, got my niggas in the ride they like pass the dutch doin doughnuts in the feild like what the fuck~S.B.K.


Mo~Do you remember who I am? Molow Da-Freakin Don...
Call me Mr. Ketchum, collecting hoes, no Pokemon
Hit it from the back, rip a bitch like a runway
And I also play NBA 2K5 on any givin Monday 
I be giving them girls 'facelifts', with no make up 
Superman a hoe, and dissappear when they wake up
Get so much bread that they calling me Yeast
Ben Wallace of the East, cept I still is the beast!!!


Swaggerton~this nigga talkin games,im speakin bout da money,oh yeah dats momolu but this is Swagerton honey. i got the game locked and niggas call me HHH im like tajiri throwin green shyt up in ya face,im all ova da place,can you smell it now?cause im the rock and i am layin da fuckin smackdown, yes i lay da smackdown, oh yeah i give da right hands and i am ownin shyt like my last name was mcmahon,but enough wit da wordplay,lets get back to da birdplay,cause i am so fly i understand wut da birds say



Mo~Molow Nicholas Cage
Packin a 12 gage
Killing all these niggas like it fuckin Streets of Rage
You may live in Swaggertown, but you breathing my mOzone
While Im fucking bitches with genetalia the size of a street cone...
I must be Naruto cause everybody other nigga is a shadow clone...
Unfortunately for them, No Brawl, they all just get pwned...
Not an Afro Samurai, more like a Ninja, Ninja
They trying so hard, while I'm just playing witcha...



Swaggerton~hey yo
2 words
swagger mode
imma spit
a swagger ode
i live off of
swagger road
and when i shit
its swagger load
my pet he hops
he's swagger toad
he kool
he eatin swagger flys
i live for all swagternity
cause my swagger
it never dies
2 words 
swagger truth
cause i cant tell 
a swagger lie
and all my niggas 
kool as shyt
my cliq known as
the swagger guys
i may be breathin mozone
but swagteria create da gas
so wen u get an idea
to go against swagger 
blow it out yo ass!!!!!


Mo~ Im about to achieve this Don Status
So Ima also throw a dagger
What you say? I can't hear you?
My swagger drowning out your swagger...
And flooding on your swagger road
Killing your silly swagger toad
But I don't think they're swagger flies
As they're more the result of your "swagger rhymes"
I gotta a dollar in my pants, or should I say ten dimes
Sit so hard that its getting in your eyes
Rap better than Gucci, getting more coochie
Dropping more lyricalness then the Japanese make sushi
Mr. Terrance Howard, all Hustle and Flow
I'm a fire test, your ladies stop, drop and roll...


Swaggerton~ ok,you came out here to play a gizzame
a lil rap contest,i put ya flow to shizzame
this right her,so hawt it out burns a flizzame
im all original i dont have to follow wizzayne
but i respect the niggas laid a patfh for me
cause witout em i couldnt be Swaggerton or KT
you see,the quality is greater than HD
and when Swagger tell bitches drop,they just get down to they knees
im ice cold,3000,just like in 4 brothers
in 5 minutes,i ate out all of my six lovers
they each had seven covers until 8 O'clock
the thickness was 9 times 10,thats my cock
i heard niggas tell me this the end,its no stop
cause plan to keep it going till i get wut i desire
im like the rain that just end parades and put out da fire
and my flow hit you so hard,had you spittin through da wire!!!

......

why is that i never seem to be mentioned in anything yet im so important? i must know

horny

maybe i should fuck you till the sun comes up
we'll do it real fast and slow
or we could fool around in thekitchen
i guess theres only one way to know

u always seem to keep me on point
i never seem to get any rest
or maybe u just wanna find out
wut its like to with the best

you always keep me real horny
no matter what time of day it is
u got me fiendin for the sex so bad
i know exactly what it is

ur horny

update

so ive been sick, flu, bummed out,missed out on the club 3 nights in a row now, been watching grey's anatomy from the very first episode non stop and i dont plan to stop this binge till i reach the season finale of season 4. it seems that things are just .....different. you ever had the feeling where everything was good one day and then different the next, well i have this feeling in me currently and it just seemed this way since last weekend and well it just seems as tho i have a greater outlook on things. i have questioned myself, asking myself what it is i am exaclty doing here, and the answer is i am currently doing nothing. i let my own setbacks set me back tho i hate to see others let themselves be held back by setbacks, im struggling to seperate myself from the image of my ex-bestfriend. very few things can cause such a struggle within me. i am seen as a heartless cold bastard who makes decisions based on what i can gain from the outcome, yet this is not who i want to be seen as. my dilema is finding my image,my self image,one that does not involve me being attatched to an asshole. and i know where the answer lies,but im afraid to turn to it. im afraid to look to God for help,afraid to ask for help frfom those he seemingly placed in my life to do just that,help me. why,i do not know,but i need to get over this fear before it has become too late......

White Roses and Wedding Rings

(verse1)
fall into the river floating down
the current of lifes long love
and could you swim to the other side
and find whatever you need
the raging waters full of hearts
of these love sick bleeding teens
and we're just here to cure this disease

(chorus)
white roses and wedding rings
filling up the ravine
on the ends of the shores of heartbreak lake
you've fallen and your bleeding
still theres no wound ive seen
picking up the peices of your heart

(verse2)
run far away
the day is new
but youve been told a lie
so keep on goin to where your headed
on this day
the love is nothing you can handle now
the crowds to big inside
so keep ur thought quiet and to yourself

(chorusX1)

(repeat X4)
white roses and wedding rings
these things mean nothing real
its what you feel inside that counts for what you do

(chorusX2)

The Mixtape chronicles

ok so i've begun prduction on the first ever Mixtape from the Bad Ingrish Crew. i got 5 trtacks recorded, the quality is kinda shitty but its a start to things ya know, we gotta start somewhere ya know. so this saturday is valentines day. im just fine cause i got mine, such a silly person she is but i love her sillyness so its all good right. 

and just when i thought the sky was turned grey, there she was,standin in my way. (^_^)

"you"

who knows
where this could go

or what this could be
will we eventually
make this thing ours
will we go far
baby let me have your hand
just understand

that I

I wanna be your man
I wanna be all I can
to you
I wanna do
all i can for you
and make you see
that your that one for me
yes girl its true
im in love with you
i give my all to you

baby
just you and me
this is you and I
and i'll try
to give you everything 
that you need
fufill your fantasy
and i want you
yes you and only you

to understand

I wanna be your man
I wanna be all I can
to you
I wanna do
all i can for you
and make you see
that your that one for me
yes girl its true
im in love with you
i give my all to you

and bay your beauty
makes me
feel like im up on high
and letting you know
is easy
lemme give you my love
forever and all
lets live life till the end of time
oh baby I

I wanna be your man
I wanna be all I can
to you
I wanna do
all i can for you
and make you see
that your that one for me
yes girl its true
im in love with you
i give my all to you
 

"Running From My Fears"

my fears

im never turning back to this place

im searching out the new day

never giving into the sin“Running From My Fears”

(verse1)

I wanna live on the open road

cause I don’t have a home

and im all alone

im livin on my own

and I don’t feel no love

I tried but it seems like itd never come

I wanna go and make my own way

livin life day by day

there is nothing more to say

if it only things would change

in this sad place

I’d try to stay

but I’m leaving  now

all times run out

(chorus)

I just don’t want to be here

and im making it clear

that im running away from 

if I go now

then I’ll win

(verse2)

I’ve drawn the line I don’t care where it shows

I don’t care who will know

I don’t care where it goes

cause im crossing it

I’ll treat that thing like it was my bitch

I’m giving into this temptation

leaving degredation

sinful deprivation

and im moving on

Im gonna stay straight

and I’ll be strong

and I’ll leave today

I’ve gone away

(chorus)

I just don’t want to be here

and im making it clear

that im running away from my fears

im never turning back to this place

im searching out the new day

never giving into the sin

if I go now

then I’ll win

(bridge)

living here is killing me

and only I can see

my walls have grown so high

that no one sees me slowly die

I need to move on, I need to be gone

I need to find some truth,I can do that here with you

(chorusX4)

I just don’t want to be here

and im making it clear

that im running away from my fears

im never turning back to this place

im searching out the new day

never giving into the sin

if I go now

then i'll win

this reminds me of.....

this reminds me of Xanga alot. i havent really blogged in like 2 years. my life has grown to become a tangled mess of drama that most of the time i dont start. but i have deduced that now is the time to change. you know, before its too late, the time to realize who truly holds you down. an aquaintance of mind recently told me to find out who truly got me and I did. i found that i only truly know of one person to stand by my side through turmoil, only one who will "save me" as seth did to evan from "Superbad" lol. i guess i just dont really trust anyone but him. when i was outted from my home, he took me in, offered me a place to stay, and took care of me. i thought i had more than one person of this stature to call "friend" but that person befell my expectations greatly. and it would seem as though some stood by him when he turned his back to me, but who needs them. it seems as though the best advice i ever recieved came from a great aquaintance i have whom i feel would make an excellent friend. and i thank him for makin me see the clouded state i was living in. 
this is all for now. i shall go ponder what to write on next. farewell for now to anyone who reads this