update

so its been awhile since i wrote anything. i guess i been busy with work, school, and such. well m relationship fell apart around the end of 2009 and ended on new years eve(what a way to end the year huh) and she says we're not broken up, we're "separated" but everyday i feel more and more that she moves away from me. and i cant fucking stand hearing about her ex. its like the world fucking revolves around him. she tells me that she loves me more than anyone else, but if she did then why is it that he is all i ever hear about. it would be nice to talk about me, or her(not involving him), or us. anything but this fucking asshole who alledgedly keeps hurting her. well if he keeps hurting you dont keep forgiving him. i've actually begun to hate the fact that i love her forreal . like i love her soooo much that i cant just walk away and i know i deserve better than this. i do. i dont deserve to be held to this. but then again maybe my life is meant to be filled with this pain and suffering........